So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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