I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
