Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
