Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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