Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
