Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
