I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
