The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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