he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
