I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
