I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
