is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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