she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
