i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
