why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
