You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just made out with a guy for $7.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
