Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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