I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
