He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
