She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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