My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
and she was petting her beer can
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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