I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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