why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm passing your future prison.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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