I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
