omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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