I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize