I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
