brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
