Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
