Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
