ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
