I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
