He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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