The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
