I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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