i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
