HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
