I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you had me at cake vodka
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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