and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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