Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
it's like iHOP with fire
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
