I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
