I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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