Dual....:-)
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
