New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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