I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize