this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize