I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
