I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize