I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
