I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
