12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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