he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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