There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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