come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
