I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
