Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
