cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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