I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
