Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
