he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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