it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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