Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
