Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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